I am sure most people by now have seen or heard about the two buffoons who tipped over a boulder in Goblin Valley located in Utah.  Which is where I am from.  If you have not seen the video you can check it out here.

Goblin Valley Doofs

It keeps getting better and better for these two specimens of pure stupidity.  Let's analyze the video for a minute here.  But before we do, I would like to say I am not some environmental, hippy activist who chains themselves to trees to save the environment.  Don't get me going.

So when Glenn "Muscles" Taylor begins pushing on this boulder it seemed fairly stable for something that has been there millions of years.  Too me it looks like a boulder on some mud.  But it is pretty cool how it is balanced on that mud.  He put his whole back into pushing it at first.  It obviously wasn't too stable because Glenn "Blubber Boy" Taylor was eventually able to topple that boulder over.  You have his buddy Dave Hall singing at him to wiggle it just a little bit.  Which is a terrible song in my opinion and a horrific image of watching Glenn wiggle it just a little bit.  If you go to YouTube to check out any sort of video regarding this song, the comments are overloaded with people talking about how the song gives them the idea of destroying a million year old Hoodoo formation or how stupid these guys are..  The people who wrote this song should be ecstatic, all the free publicity and being attached to the boulder boys.  So after "Muscles" puts his back into and "wiggling" that rock it starts to come loose.  Not quite satisfied that he has now created more of a booby trap to kill someone, he squeezes his boulder like frame in between a rock and said boulder and is able to finally accomplish his goal of destroying part of a National Park.

This is when Dave starts laughing like a Hyena who sucked down some Helium with the excitement of a giddy 3 year old at Christmas.  He then announces they have modified Goblin Valley and that a new Goblin Valley exists as if he was the almighty creator himself.  We then see Dave's mug who looks like Ernie from Sesame Street.  Only his eyes aren't as circular and big as the full harvest moon as is Ernie the muppet's.  Now when the obese Glenn knocks this boulder over, he and is color/dressed coordinated kid act like he scored the game winning touchdown from the Holiday Bowl in 1980.  His kid is wearing pink (at least they look pink) shoes, black socks, gray shorts, yellow shirt, and a Shirpa (spelling?) hat.  My 6 year old has more fashion sense.  Hell, my 2 year old has better color coordination.  Granted, the 2 year old wears the same 3 outfits.  Is this kid's outfit the new Scouting uniform put together by Mugatu from Zoolander?  I can see the name now..Scoutorama Elite!  When I was a scout and my son now is a scout, you are supposed to wear a scout uniform as well as the scout leaders.  Unless this was some week long activity.  Either way, neither one of these guys seems qualified to be scout leaders.  Seems as if the Boy Scouts of America agree as they just kicked them out yesterday or today.  Forrest Gump has a higher IQ.  I say this because that is not the first thing that comes to mind when I see a precariously balanced boulder.  To go and push the thing over.  Smart people would avoid it.  Instead, these two apes decided to ruin it.  Not only do they lack the common sense to avoid it, they post a video on YouTube of themselves doing it.  Apparently they don't know the laws regarding not defacing or "modifying" National Parks.

Now they are receiving death threats from around the world and a lot of people are insulting and bullying them. Welcome to the internet Curly and Moe.  The kid is the third stooge.  They made the excuse they were saving lives because some kid was about to walk beneath this dangerously balanced rock and would have died if they had not intervened.  Again, common sense says to avoid the area if it was really that dangerous.  You'll notice Dave had to move out of the way, though not much, but still had to move back a little bit when it tumbled in his direction before falling into the chasm.  Are these gentlemen able to see into the future to know that a child would die because of this murderous rock?  Sounds like an excuse my 13 year old makes when he slaps his younger sister because she was going to hit him or the 2 year old.

But wait, it gets better.  Mr Muscles, Glenn Taylor, was involved in a car accident four years ago, recently decided to file a law suit against a girl who struck him and 3 others.  None of the other people involved have ever complained or sued the offending family. His reason, $5,000 in medical costs for "great pain and suffering, disability, impairment, (and) loss of joys of life."  The only impairment I can see is his ability to deduce what an idiotic idea it was to knock over that boulder.  He is lucky the damn rock didn't roll in the opposite direction and crush him.  I am guessing he would suffer great pain and disability then.  By loss of joys of life, maybe his wife knows how stupid he is and makes him sleep in the other room.  He seems pretty happy he knocked the rock over and didn't seem like he was in much pain doing it.  Again, don't post a video of yourself knocking boulders over if you are suing someone for suffering, pain, and disability.  His lawyer is probably wondering why he is representing this genius and trying to figure a way to get out of representing him.  The judge will see that video and say, "Really?"  The case will probably last 5 minutes and Glenn "The Whale" Thomas (He really doesn't have that many muscles.  Seems that he has ample man boobs though) has put himself in more financial trouble if he decides to pursue this suit. Because if he does,the other family can come after him for court costs and possibly sue him.  So congratulations to Glenn and Dave, you have become famous and the poster children for stupidity this week. The memes you have brought upon yourselves will be bountiful for the next few months.  Enjoy.